THEY PUT THE WHEEL BACK ON THE WHEEL-LESS CAB

A pre-production Cybercab in Berkeley was photographed with a temporary Cybertruck steering wheel bolted on — for humans, while the production pitch stays no-controls.

Yesterday's disaster

The future arrived, then someone grabbed a wrench. Electrek published a first look at a Cybercab test mule wearing a bolted-on Cybertruck wheel and column so a person can drive the thing that was sold as having no steering wheel and no pedals.

Production design: no controls. NHTSA clipboard still open. Test mule: here's a wheel. Won't somebody think of the brochure?

Satire. AI-generated video & voice. Not independently fact-checked. Entertainment only. Not financial advice.

The compli-insult pivot

Credit where it's cruel

We'll say this for Tesla: announce the wheel-less cab, then bolt a wheel back on so engineering can finish the homework. It takes a special mind to make the temporary hardware the most honest part of the demo.

Sarcastic breaking-news video

LiveH.A.T.E. desk

0:57

Teleprompter

Breaking from the cab that couldn't quit the wheel. Electrek: a pre-production Cybercab in Berkeley spotted with a bolted-on Cybertruck steering wheel and column for human-driven testing — while the production story stays no steering wheel, no pedals. The NHTSA Cybercab audit is still the live regulatory file. Elsewhere this window: Tesla Electric floated about thirty-five dollars a month for two Powerwalls for eligible Texas customers after credits. FSD fourteen point three point nine is rolling Automatic Collision Evasion, and Tesla's AI lead teased bigger safety in v15. SpaceX flew classified USSF-153 from Vandenberg on September tenth. And Musk said Grok four point seven needs a few more days to cook. This is H.A.T.E. correspondent Noe-lee-tah All-set.

The corrective post

What actually happened

On Sep 11, 2026, Electrek reported a pre-production Cybercab in Berkeley photographed with a temporary Cybertruck steering wheel/column assembly for human-driven testing, contrasting with the production no-controls design and the still-open NHTSA AQ26002 Cybercab self-certification audit. In the same window: Tesla Energy said eligible Texas Tesla Electric customers can lease two Powerwalls for about $35/month after credits ($100 order fee; typical lease ~$122 before ~$87 Backup-plan credit; solar not eligible; limited areas) per Tesla North quoting @teslaenergy Sep 11. FSD Supervised v14.3.9 / 2026.27.6 rollout coverage Sep 11–12 details Automatic Collision Evasion; Ashok Elluswamy Sep 11 teased significantly better safety/collision avoidance in the next big upgrade (v15). SpaceX launched Falcon 9 USSF-153 from Vandenberg SLC-4E on Sep 10 (classified USSF payload; booster ~27th flight; OCISLY recovery). Musk posted on X Sep 11 that Grok 4.7 "needs a few more days to cook," citing RL tuning; no official xAI 4.7 model card/API yet.

Cybercab mule: Temp Cybertruck wheel
Production pitch: No wheel / no pedals
NHTSA AQ26002: Still open
TX Powerwall lease: ~$35/mo for two
FSD v14.3.9: Collision Evasion
USSF-153: Falcon 9 Sep 10
Grok 4.7: Delayed

The clip file

Sources from the filing window, with attribution. Last 24–48 hours where the desk had them; primary filings otherwise.

Three ways to file it

Short X post

Cybercab test mule spotted with a bolted-on Cybertruck steering wheel. Production pitch: no controls. H.A.T.E. Vol. 1, No. 9.

Website hook

The wheel-less cab showed up with a wheel. Temporary hardware. Permanent irony.

Video concept

Deadpan desk. Split: polished wheel-less Cybercab silhouette vs the same body with a crude bolted TEST MULE wheel. Host never smiles. End card: THEY PUT THE WHEEL BACK ON.

Vol. 1, No. 9 · Saturday, September 12, 2026. Satire. Numbers from public reports.